Dear Lady Who Felt it Necessary to Curse at Me,
I realize you think it is too d*** early for us to be out ringing bells. What you don’t realize is that i don’t want to be out here any more than you want to see me. I am cold. My feet hurt. My buttoned up collar is choking me (my sympathy to the fellas who wear ties). I also have to wear this ridiculous hat. Please don’t be ugly. I am only doing what I am required to do for my grade. I don’t even get paid. You certainly don’t have to put any money in the pot, but please, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.