So I’m Gonna be a Grandma

Our daughter moved out a week after her 18th birthday. She didn’t want to obey simple rules, like don’t smoke weed and have strangers in our home when we are out. It has been a terrible year with her. My heart is broken.

Well, she is going to have her first baby in May. I’m torn. This isn’t he way I wanted this to go. She is so young and still single. However, I’m not going to let the devil steal my “grandma joy”.

If you pray, please pray that everything will go well and that this may wake her up. Pray she may turn to God. She was taught right. I’m relying on the verse Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”.

A Sad Day in NY

My heart is heavy. It is mind boggling how New York could allow the murder of viable babies so close to birth.

Spare me the “the life of the mother” line.  There is NO medical condition that would require the ending of an unborn child’s life to save the mother.  Yes, some conditions may require premature delivery, and the baby may or may not make it. The point in such cases is to try to save the baby AND mom. There is no reason whatsoever to deliberately take the life of the child.

Then we have the “What if the child is severely deformed or is severely ill and is not expected to survive or have any quality of life?”  Well, if your already born child was found to have cancer or some other devastating condition that the docs missed, would you euthanize them?  If my child were severely ill and going to die, I’d have my child die in my arms being loved, not torn to bits in some inhumane fashion.

Finally, there are those who are concerned about cases of rape. I want to be careful with this one because I certainly don’t want to minimize the trauma a sexual assault causes, and I can certainly understand why a woman wouldn’t want to carry a child that was forced on her.  The issue is we live in a fallen, sinful world. God never promised we wouldn’t have bad things happen to us.  Someone who is hit by a drunk driver and becomes paralyzed doesn’t get to get up and walk again. Someone sexually assaulted by someone with AIDS isn’t spared from coming down with the disease because it was someone else’s sin.

I’m also not sure how an abortion is any better of an experience than labor and delivery. In any case, an abortion won’t erase the trauma.

I know some still don’t agree, but I just can’t find any reason to take the life of an unborn child. For those who can’t or don’t want to care for the child, there are Safe Haven Laws and adoption.

Just my thoughts.

 

Best Daddy in the World

The best daddy in the world left this earth this morning.

I thought I was prepared since I knew it was coming, but I wasn’t.

Thank you, God that I got to see him one last time over Thanksgiving

Life is a Roller Coaster

Life is such a roller coaster.  Yesterday brought heartbreaking news about one situation and great news about another.

My dad has been in ICU for about 3 weeks now.  He went in with severe fluid on the lungs and now his kidneys are failing.  They still work for now, but once they stop, he will likely have only a week or two left, but no one knows how long they will keep working.  The doc said my dad isn’t strong enough for dialysis and there comes a point when you’ve done all you can, so he recommended to keep managing the lungs since the kidneys would be the less painful way to go…

On the other hand…

We found out some great news.  My husband and I have been approved for new positions where we work.  We still are not commissioned officers, but it’s kind of like a promotion. We are just waiting on them to find an opening for us.  So yay!

All of this on the same day.

It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To.

Well, another birthday is here.  This just isn’t where I thought I would be at 45 years old.  I try to stay focused on the positive things, and I did really well for a long time, but lately the tears are coming again.  I gave up my beautiful home. I don’t look forward to going back to the academic world one bit. I don’t want to be writing sermons and papers till ungodly hours at night.

Lately I’ve been mad at myself also because I know I am not helpless.  In reality, I have all the control.  I am just too scared to exercise it.  So here I am, another year older and still feel stuck.  Shoot me now.

Been a Rough One Here

Warning: this is a vent post.

This week has been a rough one.

A battle in my head that I haven’t had for a long time.

It started with the Sunday sermon. it was on the Apostle Paul talking about his “thorn in the flesh”, yet he never mentions what it was.

Over the past few years I have looked at my struggle in my marriage as a “thorn in the flesh,” so I immediately become raw.

Things were getting better just before our family fiasco right after the new year. Now they are back to the same old, same old.

We just don’t fight about it.  I give up. I surrender.

Then EVERY stinking day this week as I read my devotional, fb newsfeed or something else.  What has it been about? “How to Make Your Man Happy”  or “15 Ways to Capture His Heart”    as Todd Chrisley says, “Are you for real, right now?”

Sorry for the rant.  Been a rough one…   Oh, well, at least next week is vacation.