It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To.

Well, another birthday is here.  This just isn’t where I thought I would be at 45 years old.  I try to stay focused on the positive things, and I did really well for a long time, but lately the tears are coming again.  I gave up my beautiful home. I don’t look forward to going back to the academic world one bit. I don’t want to be writing sermons and papers till ungodly hours at night.

Lately I’ve been mad at myself also because I know I am not helpless.  In reality, I have all the control.  I am just too scared to exercise it.  So here I am, another year older and still feel stuck.  Shoot me now.

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