Archive | August 2015

Is God Testing Me?

Why is it the harder I try to have faith the more hurt I become.

I tell myself things could be worse.  My troubles really aren’t that bad, but I just get angrier.

I tell myself to be thankful for my blessings.  My children are healthy.  I am healthy. We have enough food and money for bills.

I should be thankful, right?  I am.  I watch Joyce Meyer and read scripture after scripture and pray and pray.

So why do things seem so hard?


Changing Times

So when filling out school forms, I am no longer “Mother”.  I am either ” Parent 1″ or “Parent 2”.

Just wondering which I should be…


Been a Rough One Here

Sad-DanboWarning: this is a vent post.

This week has been a rough one.

A battle in my head that I haven’t had for a long time.

It started with the Sunday sermon. it was on the Apostle Paul talking about his “thorn in the flesh”, yet he never mentions what it was.

Over the past few years I have looked at my struggle in my marriage as a “thorn in the flesh,” so I immediately become raw.

Things were getting better just before our family fiasco right after the new year. Now they are back to the same old, same old.

We just don’t fight about it.  I give up. I surrender.

Then EVERY stinking day this week as I read my devotional, fb newsfeed or something else.  What has it been about? “How to Make Your Man Happy”  or “15 Ways to Capture His Heart”    as Todd Chrisley says, “Are you for real, right now?”

Sorry for the rant.  Been a rough one…   Oh, well, at least next week is vacation.

Turn, Turn, Turn

So tired of this heat!

I’m ready to start complaining about the cold.

My absolute favorite season is spring. I love the flowers.

Autumn is OK. I like the pretty leaves, but I don’t like the shorter days.

I can totally do without winter.

But I suppose It would be boring if we didn’t have all the different weather.

To everything there is a season…


Don’t Miss It

As I read through my facebook page and see friends that are returning to the training school my husband and I attended last year, I find I don’t miss it.  Sure, I miss some of the people and friends we made, but as we are about to begin the process to go back next summer, I’m not so sure I want to.  It’s nice to be out in the free world again.  I can relax in the evening instead of studying and writing papers.

One of the instructors who cried and prayed with me before we left promised me that once things calmed down and we got settled in the new positions they found for us I would be happy. She was right.  I’m afraid to go back to a place where I felt so betrayed.

For those who don’t know, back in January and February, one of my daughter’s friends apparently was listening at our door when we happened to be fussing at our daughter who was throwing a fit over homework.  The child ran home to her mother who, instead of asking us about it, chose to call DSS and somehow a bigger tale got spun with horrible accusations.  I was called to my children’s school and met by a police detective and DSS worker. My husband had to move out for a week until he was cleared even though our daughter said he had not done anything to her.  The president of the school felt it best to get us out of there and found jobs for us until we are able to return.

Do I really want to go back???????