Life is a Roller Coaster

Life is such a roller coaster.  Yesterday brought heartbreaking news about one situation and great news about another.

My dad has been in ICU for about 3 weeks now.  He went in with severe fluid on the lungs and now his kidneys are failing.  They still work for now, but once they stop, he will likely have only a week or two left, but no one knows how long they will keep working.  The doc said my dad isn’t strong enough for dialysis and there comes a point when you’ve done all you can, so he recommended to keep managing the lungs since the kidneys would be the less painful way to go…

On the other hand…

We found out some great news.  My husband and I have been approved for new positions where we work.  We still are not commissioned officers, but it’s kind of like a promotion. We are just waiting on them to find an opening for us.  So yay!

All of this on the same day.



Careful With the “Headaches”

I have been reading a lot about sex and marriage lately due to my current situation.  Most articles seem to be from the perspective of the wife denying her husband, but I can tell you it goes both ways.  I promise you, the hurt and pain are very real.  I can tell you from my perspective what your man must feel like if you constantly refuse.  It feels like a slap in the face night after night after night. He will feel ugly and undesirable.  He will not want to do anything for you at all.He may even be tempted to get it somewhere else, and no I’m not blaming the woman if that happens. A man is responsible for his own actions.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.  I’m simply stating the possible results that are even in the Bible.

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1:Cor 7:3-5

My prayer is that young women would understand the needs of their husbands in that area. I’m not talking the Duggar extreme of being “joyfully available”.  Where you can NEVER say no.  Just be understanding and respect his desires.

I know many women scoff at the thought of pleasing their man.  The feminist movement has made women feel they don’t have to think of anyone but themselves.  They feel that being home raising children is not worthwhile.  Yes, I know, I work outside the home, but my schedule is conducive to being home when my children are out of school or my job allows them to be with me.

Just my two cents…and to all the wives and moms out there… YOU ROCK!



Scars on Her Heart


A little girl with a happy home and lots of love,

but a hurt heart over rejection from the one who was supposed to love her.


A big girl with lots of friends,

but a torn  heart because she wanted more.


A young lady with a wonderful friend who held her when her dreams appeared to be shattered

but a broken heart because she knew there would be no more.


A grown woman with lots of hope and anticipation

but a shattered heart from one phone call,


A middle age woman with a scarred heart

but strength and hope for the future. 



Conversation With God

Me: Why did you make me like you did? Why was I such a late bloomer? All the boys I liked just wanted to be friends. I never even had a real date until after high school (went to the prom with “just a friend”). No self respecting high school boy was going to ask me out when I looked like I was 12 even though I was 16.

God: I created your inmost being. I knit you together in your mother’s womb. (Psalm 139:13).

Me: Why did you not want me to have children of my own?

God: I think you see the answer to that now. I had 2 precious children who needed you.

Me: Yes, I see that clearly now. What about the the heartbreak of the two adoptions that failed?

God: What about them? I never promised you would not have pain. My ways are not your ways.

Me: But I didn’t feel you near me. I felt like you weren’t there, like you didn’t care.

God: Remember the poem about the footprints? When there was only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

Memories of April 10, 1997



This is a story I shared on another site in honor of a baby girl we almost adopted.   There were no tears yesterday, just memories.

The nursery was ready.The diaper bag was packed, and the baby seat was securely in the car. They waited anxiously for the phone call to tell them it was now time to come pick up their baby girl.The phone call that came was not one of joy. She answered the phone only to hear the dreaded words heard once before. “I’m very sorry, but the birthmother has changed her mind and decided to parent. She picked the baby up this morning.” She handed the phone to him unable to continue the conversation as her stomach rejected her recently eaten lunch.They cry together. Her face in his lap as her tears fall on the leg of his pants while his fall onto her cheek as he strokes her hair. God please! This can’t be happening AGAIN!Days later the diaper bag, baby seat, toys, and swing are in the dumpster. They will never do this again. Years later, her heart still scarred, she thinks of that baby on this day. Happy Sweet 16, baby girl…wherever you are.