God Counts Your Tears

Tomorrow will be my 10th Mother’s Day.  I am so thankful for my sweet children.  I think back to the looooong journey to get to this point.  Fertility meds did not work, so we started the adoption process. Then, for two years in a row. we were chosen two different times for a baby, but both birth mothers changed their minds and kept their babies.

I remember it like it was yesterdsy even though it was 1996 and 1997.  The one in 1997 was the worst.  I was so angry at God. The first time hurt, but I consoled myself that adoptions don’t always work out and it must not have been God’s will. The second time I was angry at God for allowing this to happen again.  I refused to pray or go to church.  I remember carrying out the baby supplies we had bought and throwing them in the trash and then walking back in the garage thinking how easy it would be to just shut the door and crank up my car. The pain would be over. I knew I would never have the nerve to follow through, but I still thought about it.

Today I am so thankful I held on a little longer.  God led us to a place and pretty much dropped a brother and sister in our lap.   I am so blessed.

To those who may be in pain this Mother’s Day, hang in there.  God counts all your tears.


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The House That Built Me

This is the house I lived in for most of my childhood years. I haven’t been inside in 20 years, but I have lots of memories….

where I had many sleepovers

where I put “Sun In” in my hair and laid in the back yard

where I sat on the front porch listening to music on my ’80s boom box

where I grumbled and complained about shelling butter beans

where my grandmother set fire to a dish cloth passing it over a candle

where we had family game nights on most Fridays

where I sat in the corner in “time out”

where my parents took prom pictures on the front porch

where I cried when the boy I liked didn’t like me back

where my friends and I practiced our cheerleading in the yard

where a lizard got in when we brought in the live Christmas tree

where my dad and his friend grilled hamburgers under an umbrella in the rain

where my mom yelled at me to do my homework

where I read under the covers at night with a flashlight

where I almost prayed for death when I had the flu and was throwing up for a week

where my mom gave me the “birds and bees” talk and I rolled my eyes

where I got a few spankings

where I got lots of love



Adoption Doesn’t Have to Cost an Arm and a Leg

This morning I commented on a post concerning adoption, and I thought what I shared might be useful for those looking to adopt.  Adoption doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg.  What many private agencies charge is robbery (IMO).

If the unholy cost of adoption is stopping you, check out your local social services agency.  That is where my husband and I finally adopted.  It was way cheaper, and since we got a brother and sister at the same time, one fee for approval took care of both children.

I can only speak for South Carolina, but the fee there was $1000.00 in 2006.  It covered the home study, background check and fire/safety inspection.  It is nothing major. The social worker comes to see the home and the room(s) the child will have.  The fire dept. comes to make sure you have smoke detectors, a fire extinguisher, and that you have drawn an escape plan.

The only additional fees are the ones from the attorney you choose, and the court costs to complete the paperwork.  That was around another $700.00 in our case.  We also had to get physicals, so that would depend on insurance and the doctor’s fee.

Just thought I would share this in case anyone out there in blog land is looking to adopt, but wondering how to come up with the massive amount of money.  You don’t need to go to a private agency that will charge thousands and thousands of dollars to set you up with a birth mother who can possibly want you to cover her medical expenses and who still has the right to change her mind without having to repay you.  The agency will not return any money either.  We started our adoption journey with a private agency, and learned the hard way.  We were chosen by two different birth mothers who both changed their minds at the last minute, and the agency couldn’t have cared less.  Fortunately, we never agreed to pay any medical expenses for these girls.

OK, rant over.  I highly recommend checking out your local social services.  You will likely have to take a child a little bit older as they don’t have many infants (ours were 3 and 4), but, 10 years later we have two beautiful, healthy teenagers.

What are You Thankful For?

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’ve been thinking about everything I am thankful for.

I’m thankful for Jesus saving me by dying on the cross.

I’m thankful for my parents and that I had a happy childhood.  I’m thankful my Dad is still here for another Thanksgiving.

I’m thankful for my husband even though he can drive me nuts.  He has a gun and I know would protect our family. Plus, he knows how to fix things around the house. LOL

I’m thankful for my children.  I’m going to make sure I  cherish the last few years we will have them at home.

I’m thankful that my family and I are healthy.

I’m thankful for a home.  Most of us take that for granted, but in my line of work, I see others who don’t have a place to call home.  I don’t care if someone is homeless because of their own bad choices or stupidity. Everyone should be able to have a warm, safe place to sleep at night.

I’m thankful for my car.  That’s another thing we take for granted, but I see many who have to stand in the cold to ride a bus or are stuck walking.

I’m thankful for my job so I can pay for the home and the car.  I’m also thankful I have a job I like.

What are you thankful for?


30 Days of Gratitude: Day 29

Today I am thankful I was able to talk to my dad. He has been in the hospital for a couple weeks now.  He was acting goofy due to all the meds and wouldn’t eat.  Today was much better. He ate a big breakfast and was able to have a sensible conversation. 

I did have to laugh when my mom told me  few days ago the doc asked him if he knew where he was. To which my dad replied, “Here.”

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 28

I am thankful for wonderful memories. Our family spent Thanksgiving looking at old pictures and videos on the computer. The most precious were the videos from our first Christmas with the children. They were so little. It is hard to remember they were that small.

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 27

I am thankful for the people taking care of my dad.  He has been in the hospital for the past couple weeks. He is not doing well, but has some wonderful doctors and nurses.  If you pray, please say a prayer.