I was recently reading about the harmful effects of the purity movement. While I do think God’s plan is for us to wait for marriage, this movement seems to have done more harm than good. These extreme Evangelicals twist God’s plan and cause unnecessary trauma.
Purity culture ties a woman’s value and worth to her virginity. That is just sooooo wrong. Jesus did not treat the woman at the well like she was less than anyone else. Sure, He told her He knew what she had done, but He still treated her with kindness. God even used the prostitute, Rahab, and saved her whole family from the destruction of Jericho.
God’s plan for us to wait until marriage is for our benefit. Waiting until marriage prevents unwanted pregnancy and the spread of diseases. It can also prevent grief and heartache if a relationship doesn’t last, but it has absolutely nothing to do with how He values us as His children. Our worth is not based on our virginity.
As a mom to two teenagers, I am encouraging them to wait on sex until marriage, but I don’t make them feel like they won’t be worth anything if they don’t. I educate them and have them educate themselves. When my daughter was 15, I had her research various forms of birth control and how they worked. Then, I had her find the failure rate for each. After that, I had her research various STD’s and learn about the symptoms and treatments.
We need to stop the nonsense of making our worth based on virginity. Stop comparing people to used up pizza or a damaged bicycle. We’re human beings. God’s plan for sex to be within marriage is simply for our benefit, nothing more. It doesn’t have anything to do with our worth in His eyes.