Let’s Do Better Than Purity Culture

I was recently reading about the harmful effects of the purity movement.  While I do think God’s plan is for us to wait for marriage, this movement seems to have done more harm than good. These extreme Evangelicals twist God’s plan and cause unnecessary trauma.

Purity culture ties a woman’s value and worth to her virginity.  That is just sooooo wrong. Jesus did not treat the woman at the well like she was less than anyone else.  Sure, He told her He knew what she had done, but He still treated her with kindness. God even used the prostitute, Rahab, and saved her whole family from the destruction of Jericho.

God’s plan for us to wait until marriage is for our benefit.  Waiting until marriage prevents unwanted pregnancy and the spread of diseases. It can also prevent grief and heartache if a relationship doesn’t last, but it has absolutely nothing to do with how He values us as His children.  Our worth is not based on our virginity.

As a mom to two teenagers, I am encouraging them to wait on sex until marriage, but I don’t make them feel like they won’t be worth anything if they don’t.  I educate them and have them educate themselves.  When my daughter was 15, I had her research various forms of birth control and how they worked. Then, I had her find the failure rate for each.  After that, I had her research various STD’s and learn about the symptoms and treatments.

We need to stop the nonsense of making our worth based on virginity. Stop comparing people to used up pizza or a damaged bicycle. We’re human beings.  God’s plan for sex to be within marriage is simply for our benefit, nothing more. It doesn’t have anything to do with our worth in His eyes.



My Response to Lori Part 2

Well, today was the same old drivel from Her Highness, Mrs. Lori. Stay home Mother’s are the only ones who care about their children. All children want to be cooped up in the house all day.  As she has said in the past,  you shouldn’t go anywhere because play dates will lead to the mothers gossiping and the children might mess up the other house before the mighty king husband comes home.  We also must not forget that the mothers might get sidetracked with their gossiping and not make it home in time to make the king’s dinner.

I do have to admit I believe there are some moms that could stay home if they cut back spending. The biggest factor in the decision is the husband’s salary and job security.   If the husband only makes minimum wage, and there are even 2 chikdren, it won’t work. In my stste, the minimum wage is only $ 7.35 an hr. Sure, most men make more than thst, but the average rent on a 2 bedroom apt. Is $915.00. So even $9.00 or $10.00 an hr is still not enough if you are going to properly care for children without govt. help.   And don’t get me started on the time she said schools shouldn’t have a free lunch program.

Sone readers on Lori’s blog brag about how they have a ton of kids and make it on less than $30,000 or even $25,000.  That would be a red flag for me to suggest a Social Services visit to make sure those children have enough food. clothes, etc.


Stop Misusing Scripture

I came across this blog.  While some of the things written are wise, some can be infuriating.  Now, I am not a feminist nor a “man hater”.  I am fine with traditional gender roles, stayed home with my children when they were small etc…

What really makes me fume is the judgmental attitude toward anyone who does not think like her.  Then she won’t approve your comment if you disagree, so I thought I would respond on my own blog:

God does not have the same plan for all women.  There is no scripture forbidding a woman from working outside the home, nor is there a commandment to stay home.  That is between a wife, her husband, and God.  If you read one of my previous posts, I stated that the woman in Proverbs 31 likely had to leave home some of the time to accomplish the things she did. It mentions she had servants. Hmmm, maybe to stay with the children so she could tend to business???  There is also not a command to have 19 kids.  The misuse of scripture is awful.  Yes, a man is blessed if his “quiver” is full of children, but it does not command you to be stupid and have more than you can manage.  For some, a quiver could be filled with 2, 3, or 5.

Don’t tell me I can’t make nutritious meals because I work outside the home.  You do know what a freezer is, right?  It’s very easy to cook a double recipe of something and freeze half for later.  Just like when we grill out steaks and freeze the extra so we can enjoy a steak dinner on a busy weeknight as well.  And guess what, you can pre cut veggies, and cook meat ahead of time to make life easier as well.

BTW, sure, I don’t mind cooking dinner and serving my family, but if my husband comes home while I’m fixing dinner and joins in, that is OK.  Cooking is something we like to do together like a hobby.  Get a grip, Lady.

Don’t tell me I can’t keep a clean house because I work either.  My husband is kind enough to pick up behind himself most of the time.  My teens have chores.  We all contribute.

Easy clean up tip:  before going to bed, take about 10 min and have everyone go through an area of the house and put away anything still out of place.

Yes, I do believe my husband is the leader and the head of the house.  I am fine with being his help mate (yes, that’s help MATE, not MEET).


Anyway, if you feel led, please bombard this misguided woman with the truth!  She follows Michael and Debi Pearl who are vile extremists that believe in spanking even infants as young as 4 months old. Yes, that’s 4 MONTHS old, not four years old.   Just Google “To Train Up a Child”  Let her know your thoughts on that as well if you wish.


Pearl 2



Trust in God, and Trust that He Gave You a Brain

I have always wondered about people who say they trust God, so they don’t feel they have any responsibility for themselves.  They seem to think they can just sit on their rear end and God will do everything for them.  The saying “God helps those who help themselves” is not in the Bible, but I believe God has given us all a brain and expects us to use wisdom.

I like to say, “I trust God, and I trust that He gave me a brain.”  I have a friend that says,
“I trust God, and I still look both ways before I cross the street”.

There are those who refuse to go to a doctor because they think everything can be healed by prayer. Uummm, NO.  God gave us doctors to help us, but yes, still pray.  It’s like the story of the man who was stranded on his roof during a flood.  Three boats came by offering to pick up the man.  He refused each of them saying that God would save him.  Well, he drowned. When he gets to the pearly gates, St. Peter asks why he is there so soon.  The man says he doesn’t know. He thought God would save him.  St. Peter says, “Well, he sent you three boats!”

Then you have the people who say they trust God with the number of children they have and don’t use birth control.  I get that some people don’t want to use certain forms that don’t actually prevent conception, but there are other ways.  Seriously, if a man loses his job and the wife is already at home with two or three kids, is that really a good time to have another baby?   Don’t get me wrong, if there ends up being a baby after prevention, then sure, it must be God’s plan.

Let’s just use the wisdom the good Lord gave us and not use trust in God as an excuse to not be responsible for ourselves.