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Careful With the “Headaches”

I have been reading a lot about sex and marriage lately due to my current situation.  Most articles seem to be from the perspective of the wife denying her husband, but I can tell you it goes both ways.  I promise you, the hurt and pain are very real.  I can tell you from my perspective what your man must feel like if you constantly refuse.  It feels like a slap in the face night after night after night. He will feel ugly and undesirable.  He will not want to do anything for you at all.He may even be tempted to get it somewhere else, and no I’m not blaming the woman if that happens. A man is responsible for his own actions.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.  I’m simply stating the possible results that are even in the Bible.

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1:Cor 7:3-5

My prayer is that young women would understand the needs of their husbands in that area. I’m not talking the Duggar extreme of being “joyfully available”.  Where you can NEVER say no.  Just be understanding and respect his desires.

I know many women scoff at the thought of pleasing their man.  The feminist movement has made women feel they don’t have to think of anyone but themselves.  They feel that being home raising children is not worthwhile.  Yes, I know, I work outside the home, but my schedule is conducive to being home when my children are out of school or my job allows them to be with me.

Just my two cents…and to all the wives and moms out there… YOU ROCK!

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When You’ve Had Almost All You Can Take

Our marriage like any other has its ups and downs.  We committed early on to never let divorce be an option however, I find myself thinking about actually considering a divorce more and more.  I can’t seem to stop myself from seriously thinking about it.  What else can you do when your spouse will hardly touch you?  OK, so I get a “goodbye” peck in the morning, and a hug occasionally, but that’s all.

If I try to bring it up we end up in a huge fight. I’ve pretty much given up even trying. No one wants someone doing something with them when they know the person doesn’t want to.   This has been going on for 7 years now.  I’m going nuts!

All of this got me thinking. If divorce is not an option, then doesn’t it give a spouse license to do whatever he/she wants since they know you won’t leave?????

Lot’s of folks say to pray.  Been there. Done that.  Nothings is happening.  I try to be quiet and not like the “dripping faucet” in the Bible.  Still nothing.  That just seems like silence is acceptance.

I know God does not want divorce, but it is soooooo hard.

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Therapy

My husband’s therapist wants me to join him next week.

I’m nervous.  I don’t know why he would want to see me.

I’ve never been to any kind of counseling or therapy, but maybe I could use some with the way I’m feeling lately.

I have really wanted to be able to talk to someone, but I see no purpose.

When someone can sit in a marriage retreat with the speaker directly talking about the importance of physical intimacy in a marriage, there isn’t much else you can do…(sigh)

And I was doing so well having a positive attitude.

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