God Counts Your Tears

Tomorrow will be my 10th Mother’s Day.  I am so thankful for my sweet children.  I think back to the looooong journey to get to this point.  Fertility meds did not work, so we started the adoption process. Then, for two years in a row. we were chosen two different times for a baby, but both birth mothers changed their minds and kept their babies.

I remember it like it was yesterdsy even though it was 1996 and 1997.  The one in 1997 was the worst.  I was so angry at God. The first time hurt, but I consoled myself that adoptions don’t always work out and it must not have been God’s will. The second time I was angry at God for allowing this to happen again.  I refused to pray or go to church.  I remember carrying out the baby supplies we had bought and throwing them in the trash and then walking back in the garage thinking how easy it would be to just shut the door and crank up my car. The pain would be over. I knew I would never have the nerve to follow through, but I still thought about it.

Today I am so thankful I held on a little longer.  God led us to a place and pretty much dropped a brother and sister in our lap.   I am so blessed.

To those who may be in pain this Mother’s Day, hang in there.  God counts all your tears.


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