I was reading different comments on a few articles on whether women should put their husbands or their children first. Boy, were there strong, heated feelings on both sides. The thing for me is, why does it have to be one or the other? First of all, I don’t like the idea of saying one is first over the other. Both relationships are totally different. To me, God is first, and He wants me to care for my whole family as needed. Spouses and children are not in competition.
Certainly, your marriage is important. Your spouse will be the one with you long after your children have grown up and moved out. It is good for children to see a strong marriage. That being said, a mother would not ignore her sick toddler throwing up in the bathroom because her husband wanted to get “frisky”. However, if the children have been bathed, fed, and are doing OK (which is the case most of the time), there is nothing wrong with putting them to bed early and forgetting the dirty dishes to focus on your spouse.
I’m a firm believer in no children in the bed with the parents, not because of the adult activities that take place, but because that should be the parents time with each other even if it is just talking and cuddling. Date nights are also important.
There are times when a mother may need to focus a little more on her child. A teenager might need some time to talk about a problem. Your husband will not die if you take an hour to spend with your child.
Sometimes your husband might need you more. Years ago, my husband had knee surgery. He needed my help to get in and out of the shower so he didn’t fall, so I resorted to plopping the kids down in front of the TV. I do try to avoid that, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do : )
Different circumstances call for different priorities. God will give us the grace and strength to care for those we love as needed.