Cheated…that’s how I feel.
I was looking at some old pictures today. There were some of when we first picked up our children to bring them home. What a wonderful day! They have grown so much. My daughter is now taller than me. I was thinking how she is almost 12 and we will only have her for 6 more years, and I got kind of sad because I realized by the time she leaves home, we will have only had her 14 years. Why couldn’t I have 18 years with my children like most people?
I was already feeling down. So what did I do this evening? I surfed the net reading about my marriage troubles. Feeding already negative thoughts is a real good idea, huh?
So then I feel cheated all over again. Back in the day, I tried to be good. I was a girl who was going to wait till her wedding night. I had an opportunity with a boy when I was 18, but didn’t do it. I even made my husband wait a year and a half until until we were engaged. Anyway, after adding up all the good years, I came up with 16. 16! That’s it! Gee, if I had known that was all it would be, maybe I would have taken that first opportunity.
So much for trying to do the right thing.