Cheated

 

Cheated…that’s how I feel.

I  was looking at some old pictures today. There were some of when we first picked up our children to bring them home.  What a wonderful day! They have grown so much. My daughter is now taller than me. I was thinking how she is almost 12 and we will only have her for 6 more years, and I got kind of sad because I realized by the time she leaves home, we will have only had her 14 years. Why couldn’t I have 18 years with my children like most people?

I was already feeling down. So what did I do this evening?  I surfed the net reading about my marriage troubles. Feeding already negative thoughts is a real good idea, huh?

So then I feel cheated all over again. Back in the day, I tried to be good. I was a girl who was going to wait till her wedding night. I had an opportunity with a boy when I was 18, but didn’t do it. I even made my husband wait a year and a half until until we were engaged. Anyway, after adding up all the good years, I came up with 16. 16! That’s it!  Gee, if I had known that was all it would be, maybe I would have taken that first opportunity.

So much for trying to do the right thing.

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