Another Day

I still can’t do it.

Chicken.

Afraid no one else will have me.

Scared I’ll end up on the other side of my desk at work (the one needing food or help with rent or power bill).

So tired.

Tired of being put down. Today I was an irresponsible mother for oversleeping 20 min. this morning. It turned into a big argument when I tried to defend myself from the one who is usually first asleep and last one awake.

In tears on the way to work.

At lunch, he comes to my work acting lovey dovey like nothing happened saying he wanted to take me to lunch.  Two-faced because he lectured me all through the meal.

When I got back to work, I thought God might be giving me a way out. A man came in saying he had a trailer our organization could use to give someone a place to stay for free if they would pay the utilities and keep the place up. I didn’t want to react too quickly, so I put the man’s card in my purse. I planned to sleep on it and pray about it.  I’m not too fond of the thoughf of living in a trailer, but I was considering it. A little while later a whole family came in asking if we helped with housing, so guess what I did…Yep, another day I’m chicken sh*t.

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3 thoughts on “Another Day

  1. A roof over your head is a ROOF. Doesn’t matter what KIND of roof. Listen to your heart. You will be surprised at how strong you can be when you HAVE to be. Praying for you.

  2. Oh I know that feeling all too well! You’ll leave when you’re ready to leave. But it is a lot harder to go when it isn’t really ‘that’ bad where you are. The trouble is that sometimes you can’t really see how bad it is until you’re out. Also the unknown can be a scary place too.

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