What am I afraid of? Oh wow! Deep one. Well, the answer is easy. I’m scared of being alone forever. I ‘m afraid if I leave my marriage, no one else will have me.
Tears are welling up as I type this. All I want is to feel pretty and loved. How ugly do you have to be for your own husband not to want to touch you? He tells me he loves me and I’m beautiful every day, but sometimes words aren’t enough. Yet, here I sit, justifying staying because he isn’t abusive, and I’ve never known him to cheat. I just don’t know what happened. I haven’t let myself go. I have always supported him and tried to be respectful and not nag.
I keep telling myself it’s not me. It’s him. I try remind myself I am smart. I am beautiful. It’s his loss. Just can’t completely convince myself sometimes.