April 11, 2013

I’m not one to write fancy stories or poems. I just write what I’m feeling at the time.  Lately I feel like I have  gone back in a time warp. I feel like that awkward,  insecure teenager I was in high school.  You know, the  “He loves me. He loves me not”  junk. That’s normal for a 15 year old, but not a grown, married woman.  

It has been worse recently since I’ve been back in contact with an old high school crush.  He didn’t return the feelings, but was still a very dear friend and always has been. He was the very first person I told when I found out I couldn’t have  children on my own. He went to Afghanistan for nearly a year, so we were out of touch for a while. I accepted years ago we would only be friends and had moved on, but when I saw the little message light on my facebook a few weeks ago, my heart skipped just like it did way back then. What in the world? I’m married. He’s married. Why is this happening?  My marriage hasn’t been the greatest for almost 5 years now, but seriously? What brought this on?

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2 thoughts on “April 11, 2013

  1. To have that “skipping heart” feeling…oh, what a joy. I know the predicament you are in Pamela, and you are in my thoughts. You have quite a bit on your plate.

  2. Goodness, I completely understand this. Funny story, something similar to this is actually one of the reasons I initially joined the other site. I had someone, who I actually did date, get back in contact with me last summer and was very very confused by everything I was thinking and feeling. I’ve figured it out now, but I know exactly where you are coming from.

    *huggles*

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