I’m not one to write fancy stories or poems. I just write what I’m feeling at the time. Lately I feel like I have gone back in a time warp. I feel like that awkward, insecure teenager I was in high school. You know, the “He loves me. He loves me not” junk. That’s normal for a 15 year old, but not a grown, married woman.
It has been worse recently since I’ve been back in contact with an old high school crush. He didn’t return the feelings, but was still a very dear friend and always has been. He was the very first person I told when I found out I couldn’t have children on my own. He went to Afghanistan for nearly a year, so we were out of touch for a while. I accepted years ago we would only be friends and had moved on, but when I saw the little message light on my facebook a few weeks ago, my heart skipped just like it did way back then. What in the world? I’m married. He’s married. Why is this happening? My marriage hasn’t been the greatest for almost 5 years now, but seriously? What brought this on?